just as long as it makes you happy

happy. be happy. keep happy. stay happy. we all wish happines to each other. but it has been said that only fools are always happy. and then, again, what's happy anyways? what does happiness consist on?
well, i believe i've had my fair share of good moments. i have met some great people. i've seen cool things all around. so shouldn't i be considered happy? i mean, i have al bases covered. i have what it takes to be happy. but we're not happy all the time, of course. i think some part os happiness resides in pain, failure, and disapointments. happy is a state of mind; if you believe you're happy, then you are. and maybe some people just have a hard time facing the truth: they are happy.
we all find some pleasure in pain, in pitty. ever noticed how people tend to compete even if it is for "the one who suffers most"? so, yeah, some people won't ever be happy because they are just afraid of facing happiness. and some people have everything to be happy, but feel that something is just missing. and they are, indeed, happy. but for a while. they don't consider themselves "happy people" because they are aware of the fact that they are not happy 24/7.
and maybe the best they can do is just be grateful, for everything they have that makes them feel like they are happy (even though they know it's not 100%), and even be grateful for the eventual pain that makes them see how good the other moments are.
so maybe that's it: maybe we shouldn't aim for happy as much as for grateful. from now on, focus on grateful. look around. do you have reasons to be happy? then you should be grateful for them. when you're happy, and when you're not. be grateful.

"Versos Íntimos

Vês! Ninguém assistiu ao formidável
Enterro de tua última quimera.
Somente a Ingratidão - esta pantera -
Foi tua companheira inseparável!

Acostuma-te à lama que te espera!
O Homem, que, nesta terra miserável,
Mora, entre feras, sente inevitável
Necessidade de também ser fera.

Toma um fósforo.
Acende teu cigarro!
O beijo, amigo, é a véspera do escarro,
A mão que afaga é a mesma que apedreja.

Se a alguém causa inda pena a tua chaga,
Apedreja essa mão vil que te afaga,
Escarra nessa boca que te beija!"

"Duas Almas

(...)já não serei tão só, nem irás tão sozinha:
Há de ficar comigo uma saudade tua...
Hás de levar contigo, uma saudade minha..."

split screen sadness

if only you felt the way i feel, we could share a split screen sadness; and, then, two wrongs would make it all alright.



but you dont.

there will be an answer

In the end, when we have no answers to our questions, we will always crawl back to some god.

relapsa

e lá estava ela.
era ela, sempre ela.

relapsa.

only the known is safe

ever realized how much we hate what we can't understand? thats just because we love the safety of the known.

flaws and all

if you dig deep, not one of us is safe; not one thing is good. the world was built above flaws.

shine on

People get too attached to what they like so as to feel safe by thinking they are creating an identity based on that. It shows our desperate need to feel unique, to feel like we are needed in this world because we are, somehow, special. We all want to shine.

distance

if i feel distant here, why would it be different there?

need you to need me

ever noticed how we run from a place just to feel needed there?

It just feels right

What if you feel right and act wrong? "o que vale é a intenção", they say. But don't they also say that "uma imagem vale mais do que mil palavras"?
It's too bad that we have to spend our lives proving ourselves, proving our point of view, so screw "intenção" and screw "palavras"! In life, what counts is what we do.
(And here I am contradicting myself with all these words and no action).

boys will be boys

You can change all you want. You can make all the mess you want. You can think you are changing the whole world. But in the end, it will all be the same [shit]. You'll still be you, the world will still be there, going round and round. And then, life will be life, girls will be girls, boys will be boys, school will be school, your family will be your family. You will be you.

make up your mind

i used to be amazed by how easy it was for you to change your mind.
now i just wonder: did you really change your mind? or, even better: have you even made up your mind?! because it doesnt seem that way...
i just have to ask you to be nice, and do us both a favor: choose a path and follow it with all your heart; no looking back; no turning back. thank you.

besides, make sure you make up your mind. dont 'have it made' by anyone else. again, thank you.

just do your thing

'what's my thing?' i would ask. for a long time, i did not know the answer.
well, now i do: 'my thing is not to fit; to feel like and outsider', i could tell myself. and i would not be lying.

great expectations

"Since that time, which is fur enough away now, I have often thought that few people know what secrecy there is in the young, under terror. No matter how unreasonable the terror, so that it be terror. I was in mortal terror of the young man who wanted my heart and liver; I was in mortal terror of my interlocutor with the ironed leg; I was in mortal terror of myself, from whom an awful promise had been extracted; I had no hope of deliverance through my all-powerful sister, who repulsed me at every turn; I am afraid to think of what I might have done, on requirement, in the secrecy of my terror."

cling.

making up stories and keeping them to yourself. you know they wont come true, they wont do you any good, but stil... its the only thing you can hold on to.

o ponto aton.

Olha, eu queria chorar, porque eu não tenho, assim, a condição de prever meu futuro, além do ponto final se tornando uma outra língua brasileira. Porque eu acho que o futuro, a Deus pertence. E aton... o futuro pertence ao ponto aton. Porque eu acho que o nosso futuro é muito reluzente. Que no futuro a gente pira! Não vai ter mais a que... se reportar. Então as réplicas, elas são constantes! Você não pode adequar que a sua réplica um dia foi um... uma inocência, né? Então os treplicantes são aquelas crianças que vão defender o futuro a-ton. Aí e vou explicar o porque aton. Porque você nunca sabe de onde vem a morte. Às vezes você pode ta numa cozinha junto com um cara, e achar que aquele lugar não existe mais porque você não pode voltar, mas o lugar existe! Ninguém vai derrubá-lo. Então você nunca sabe de onde vem a morte. O futuro reside em relutar. Em fazer uma revolução interna e conduzir até as urnas todo esse sacolejo dos anos que vem. Por enquanto a decadência digo nada. Adeus. Te amo, Alexandre.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2UQprQLUmQ

mean world

"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter."

and saying these thing wont keep you from thinking or even saying them.

tudo bem?

sabe, as pessoas perguntam se ta tudo bem. sempre, em qualquer ocasiao. quando tu encontra alguem ,tu vai perguntar se ta tudo bem. mas isso é das maiores banalizaçoes. a pessoa sempre vai dizer que sim. eu mesma, ja estive cheia de problema e respondi 'tuudo bem'. inclusive porque, se tu disser 'mais ou menos', a pessoa vai perguntar 'porque', mesmo que nao interesse. e dai tu vai começar a te abrir pra pessoa, contar teus problemas, e ela ainda vai reclamar (nao pra ti, obviamente) que tu só fica falando de problemas. é tudo uma questao de educação. mas dai a educação levaria a falsidade, correto?
sou pelo direito de nao perguntar se ta tudo bem a nao ser que interesse, sasbe?
--
texto digno de uma criança de cinco anos, mas eu precisava botar pra fora.

little did i know...

There i was, thinking i was so special. Little did i know the world went beyond my building, beyond my group of friends, beyond my school,...


There i was, entering society. Little did i know i was so small...

society, you're a crady breed

sim, a sociedade é preconceituosa e injusta; mas, as vezes, as tentativas de arruma-la fazem dela (além de preconceituosa e injusta) uma piada. you happy with that?

valeu a pena?

É interessante isso... tu passa pelas coisas com uma intensidade incontrolada, sem perceber. E daí passa. Uma hora passa. E daí tu olha pra trás e te pergunta se valeu a pena, já que tudo parece tão pequeno agora. Mas não na hora. Na hora foi forte, foi arrebatador, foi importante, foi intenso...

give me freedom

The thought of things going back to what they were just scares de crap out of me. I don't want to keep going through the same path over and over. I don't want to have my whole future already planned, decided. I want to have options, doubts,... i want to feel that insecurity that makes me human. I want to be able to change my future. I want to be strong enough to do that, to just go my own way; to be free.

Para os meus filhos… [2]

...Faço das minhas próprias palavras (e das de outros) as minhas.

*don’t take for granted

*não se importem demais com coisas pequenas. Apenas com o que realmente vale a pena. Acreditem, são poucas.

*say what you need to say. Com jeito, sempre, mas falem.

*mesmo assim, acredito que haja coisas que não se deva compartilhar.

*não tentem impressionar, ser engraçados, ou legais. Se as pessoas não apreciarem o que vocês têm pra compartilhar ou não souberem conviver com teus defeitos, não valem a pena.

*há muitas coisas que se contradizem; generalizações não existem (em geral).

*não deixem de fazer alguma coisa pelos outros (nem faça algo só pelos outros). Isso geralmente se torna arrependimento mais tarde.

*vão pela cabeça de vocês. Não entrem na dos outros. Se der errado, eles provavelmente não estarão lá para te ajudar. É cada um por si, they say.

*não tentem se mostrar fortes. Todos têm problemas; nem todos têm a decência de aceitá-los e enfrentá-los.

*a vida é cheia de altos e baixos; what goes around, comes around.

*mais do que tudo, não repitam o que eu fiz.

Para os meus filhos…

...Faço das palavras de Benjamin button, mãe da Carmen e do John Mayer’s old man as minhas:

“For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”


“Darling. In my selfish heart, I want nothing more than for you to stay home. I hate the thought of you leaving. I’ll miss you terribly. (…) But a good mother doesn’t just obey the wishes of her selfish heart. A good mother does what she believes is the best thing for her child. Sometimes they are the same. This time they are different.”


"turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"